The Legend Begins

This one time, when I was a kid living in Gotham City, I went out to get an ice creamcone from the ice cream man.

I got triple ripple vanilla road monkey.

Anyway, I was about to take a lick of it, when the scoop fell right off the fuckin’ cone. I was just sitting there bawling my eyes out, when all of a sudden BATMAN comes swooping

down out of the sky!

He landed right on top of that ice cream truck, punched a hole through the roof, and strangled the driver while trying to wrestle the steering wheel away from him. The truck swerved out of control into a telephone pole, and burst into flames.

Batman pulled the driver from the flaming wreckage and proceeded to beat the living shit out of him, the whole time ranting about how no kid should ever have to experience what he experienced as a child, with ice cream falling off the cone before he got to have any.

Eventually he tied him up and hung him from a street lamp, but before he left he gave me another ice cream cone!

Batman is so cool.

Yet one of many of the…