The Fourth Wall Lies in Shambles
Hello, and welcome to the 25th installment of the Legends of Batman!
We sure have had a lot of wacky adventures together, haven’t we Mike?
We sure have, Jesus!
We just thought now would be a good time to let you, the common people, have a peek behind the scenes and see what goes into crafting a Legend of Batman.
To that end, we’ve arranged this little show, where we’ll show you deleted scenes and tell you the stories behind the stories.
All that, and a special surprise guest later in the show! Let’s get started.
Here’s an interesting tidbit; When the Legends of Batman series was first conceived, it was intended to have a running gag where every story would involve ice cream in some way. i.e. the dine and dash story would have had Batman darting out after eating a bowl of ice cream, the Jaywalker’s hideout was originally in an abandoned ice cream factory, etc. etc.
So what happened?
Well originally, the Riddler at the dance club story was going to have him licking ice cream off a spoon, but it was axed because bars don’t serve ice cream. As a result, the whole running gag was terminated.
Another interesting fact is that originally the story about the lemurs was two different stories. One was about the lemurs, the other was about me taking on another hero.
Interestingly enough though, originally it wasn’t Tarzan, but Gizmo Duck that Batman was going to fight. Unfortunately, neither story was working out right, so they got merged into one.
It didn’t work then either.
Shut up!
A lot of people have trouble believing some of the stuff you tell them, Mike. Why don’t we go down a quick list of events and you can fill us in on the true story?
Go for it.
Ever been to Israel?
False. But I have actually been to Europe on several occasions.
Those were some pretty loony questions on the crossword from your school paper.
True! Those were actual clues from the crossword.
You actually managed to get Smokescreen back into vehicle mode?
False. OK fine, you got me there.
Gigli being completely rented out. Get real…
TRUE! It was completely rented out.
That… is truly terrifying.
I know. It keeps me awake at night.
So on a lighter note, here’s tonight’s special guest… The Penguin!
Awk awk!
He looks kind of familiar…
He should, he’s the Penguin.
Awk awk!
No, I think that’s just a penguin again.
You sure? It’s so hard to tell…
Wait a minute, that’s not just any penguin! That’s the penguin you beat up at Sea World!
Oh no! He’s come back to wreak terrible fiery vengeance upon us all!
Awk awk!
Look out! He’s got a gun!
Stand back! I’ll take care of this!
Awk awk! *BLAM*
OH GOD! HE SHOT ME! HE SHOT ME!
Hmmmm… You seem to have been shot…
Gee, you think? You think this may be a gunshot wound? You think maybe the bullet exiting the barrel of his gun and boring a hole through my flesh, bone, and organs constitutes being shot? YOU’RE A FREAKIN’ GENIUS, THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE!
Awk awk! *BLAM*
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HE SHOT ME AGAIN! I’VE BEEN SHOT AGAIN!
Indeed you have.
I thought you said you were going to handle this?! Why aren’t you DOING ANYTHING?!
Awk Awk *Brandishes gun*
OH GOD, KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!
*Hurls Batarang*
*Is now dead*
Boy, you sure are bleeding a lot. Maybe you should go to a hospital.
I hate you! I HATE YOU!