Mailbag Monday!

Because I may have temporarily run out of bullshit comic book facts that I pull from my ass. I need to hit Photoshop and drum up a few more.

In the meantime, filler content!

Hey,Was curius if by chance you are hiring?

Well if I hired anyone, I’d have to pay them, which I’m pretty sure would require some sort of positive revenue stream. The ads I do have don’t even come close to paying the bills, so right now it’s strictly a snarky labor of love rather than a viable business model.

However, if anyone ever wanted to pitch me an idea for a post (beyond just submitting comics or questionable fan art, which is always welcome), I’m willing to at least hear them out.

Though in your case, you managed to fit three typos/errors into the first three words of your nine word missive, and you misspelled your e-mail address so I couldn’t respond to you directly and had to put you on blast for all my dozens and dozens of readers to see! Oh, the humanity!

Hello Mike,

I hope you’re doing well today! My name is Carly and I work for Loot Crate. I was looking for a few people talking about pop culture, comics, and collectibles when I came across your site. You’ve put together such great content, so I wanted to share a fun project with you.

At Loot Crate we’re always looking for new and fresh ideas so this time I wanted to reach out to passionate fans about creating their very own “Dream Crate”. Would you be interested in creating some content on your site about that?

If so, let me know and I’ll send over all the details.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Now Carly and I actually exchanged a couple e-mails before I ultimately declined the offer, but this is illustrative of the kind of pitch I’m probably not going to entertain, where the idea is that I write something for someone else’s benefit. Sponsored content? Sure. Astroturfing a product for nothing? Not particularly interested.

That said, I have absolutely nothing against Loot Crate, and would probably have a subscription myself if I wasn’t married with a kid and a mortgage and had lots of spare room to dump my monthly allotment of geek paraphernalia.

There, Carly! You get that one for free!

Hey Mike,

I hope your day is going well! I’m Ryan, the Community Manager at Invaluable; an online marketplace that carries everything from collectibles to fine art. I found your blog today and it’s hilarious! It made me think you’d be perfect for this project.

National Comic Book Day is September 25, so we thought it’d be fun to ask bloggers, like yourself, to share with us your superhero dream team! Obviously yours would not include Superman, but if you could take characters from any universe and put them together on a squad, who would make the cut? We’d love to hear all about it in a post on your blog.

Interested? Let us know and we’d be happy to send over all the details on how you can get involved.

Look forward to hearing from you!


Ryan Stills
Community Manager

More than anything, I’m just mystified out that the signal to noise ratio of actual e-mails to spam ticked up for two seemingly completely unrelated people to come to me only a couple days apart with pretty much the exact same pitch. So weird.

But yeah, to reiterate my point from the letter above, I’m not at a point in my life where I’m so desperate for exposure that I’m going to write ad copy for free.


It’s a shame, too, because I actually had ideas for both of these proposals and probably would have been happy to do it for something as simple as a promotional Loot Crate or… whatever could do.

There you go, Ryan, you get a free plug too. Don’t say I never did anything to you!

Because it would largely be true, and I don’t like having my faults pointed out to me.


How would you like to know how to do some of the BEST magic tricks? I am talking about the one’s that REALLY GET ATTENTION from people!

The ones that show that YOU have the skills as a REAL magician…

Well, the Learn Easy Magic collection has over EIGHTY magic tricks that most professional magicians know and do for their audiences!

impressive tricks.

The amazing tricks.

The BEST tricks…

Here’s what you get:
The 66-page book, MAGIC WITH MONEY, so you can do amazing magic with just the change in your pocket or from some borrowed money! AMAZING CARD MAGIC, 55 pages of the BEST easy-to-do card magic that you and your friends will LOVE! This is the best way to start learning card magic anywhere.

Want to read minds like Chris Angel or David Blaine? MIND READING MAGIC has 46 pages of some of the BEST mentalism around.

Learn the actual mental magic effects that I personally perform almost every day!

MAGIC WITH EVERYDAY OBJECTS allows you to just walk into a room, pick up anything (like a pen, a napkin, a piece of paper and in a few instances NOTHING AT ALL!!) and entertain the entire room full of people! Wow! 76 pages of powerful magic you CAN do!

And, the special BONUS: THE BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO MAGIC! (This one book is invaluable in learning magic the easy way.) FIVE books! 243 pages of magic!

Go here now:

It’s the best way to learn amazing magic.

I’m mostly just including this because it’s probably one of the more unusual spam messages to make it past my filters that’s not offering SEO services or drugs or Russian brides or Russian brides with drugs who perform SEO services. This reads like what it would be like if Trump University had a degree program in sleight of hand, which is actually kind of fitting.

I was going to make some sort of joke about already having learned all my magic from the Necronomicon or some shit, but… eh. I’ve already kind of put a lot more effort into this than I had intended.